YOU DON’T HAVE A MARKETING PROBLEM. YOU JUST LACK EMPATHY.
I firmly believe that the main challenge we all face in marketing is overcoming our self-centered nature.
As human beings, we are egocentric— not in the pejorative sense of the word, but in the sense that everything we experience, we do within ourselves. Our reality is subjective— an interpretation of stimuli through our minds and senses.
Naturally, when we sell, we do it from our own vantage point— from the place of our needs, interests, aspirations, fears and insecurities. All of which distract us from what’s most important: our customers’ needs, interests, aspirations, fears and insecurities.
To overcome this egocentric bias, we need more empathy. We need to become more intentional about putting ourselves in our customers’ shoes, so we can sell from their vantage point.
Seeing things from others’ perspective doesn't come naturally to us. Except for the mirror neurons that enable us to “feel” someone’s pain when we see them stub their toe, for example, empathy requires real effort.We spend most of our time telling potential customers what we do (egocentric) instead of how we can solve their problems (empathy).
In my case, it can translate to: "I help freelancers build brands." But what problem does that solve? That’s the question I should help you answer. And that’s what I should communicate.
We assume that our customers know why they need our services. When in fact, they often need us precisely because they don’t know they have the problems we solve.
If we educate them, we immediately get their attention because they can easily establish a potential fit between what we do and the challenges they’re facing.
Blair Enns, in Win Without Pitching, said it best: Early in the sales process, our job is to educate potential customers on the problems that are preventing them from achieving their goals.
This is one of the main reasons I write. And in my experience, it all comes down to one thing: lack of empathy.Because we are self-centered, It’s hard to accept that people do not care about us, our products or ideas. They are only interested in the extent that we can help them fulfill their needs— because they are self-centered too. We don’t spend enough time understanding who we are trying to serve and what specific needs they have. And even with that knowledge, we sell features not benefits. We say things like "I have the fastest product in the market", instead of, "I guarantee the same result in half the time."
Because we lack empathy, we don’t understand that branding is a game of perception. First, because there’s a gap between how we see our brands and how others actually see them. Second, because of the gap between what we say and what people understand. In this game, we don’t own perception.
Trapped in our egocentric world, we don’t listen when talking to a prospect because our internal narrative is too loud. Between our aspirations, insecurities, fear of rejection and of losing the sale, we are completely focused on ourselves. We falsely believe in our power to dictate value, when only customers can decide what’s valuable. All we can control is quality and price.
Ultimately, we can only be successful by spending a disproportionate amount of time focusing on the customers’ needs, aspirations, fears and insecurities. Not our own. There’s a tension between what you want and what your customers need. That’s the crux of your “marketing problem.” And you can only resolve that tension with empathy.